It's nearly Christmas

Hi everyone,

havent been here for a while...so thought i should do a quick update and wish everyone a happy Christmas...

Not much happening here right now...except the weather is getting real cold in UK...snow on its way....i have been a bit lazy and not wanting to go out and freeze my boobs off i even did my shopping on line and had ti deleivered by local supermarket right to my kitchen....

Martin the man went back to Oz last month...........no doubt he'll be away for Christmas even tho he says he has a surprise for me...the earth would freeze over before he came to UK for Christmas and i would die of shock...dotn liek him being away ...not once has he stayed for xmas in the last 13 years that we have been together...i dotn like it...but poke up with it as i love him and he does have his kids in Oz....

My daughter Michelle, 36... in Ipswich, Suffolk puts on a big spread for Christmas and gets all excited before the event...just like a big kid...gets all excited as soon as the shops put up the decos...I will be spending Xmas with her...and be thoroughly spoilt...i leave here on Xmas Eve and come home on the 27th.... that ofcourse depends on not being snowed in before then!!

like to wish all the visitors to my blog a happy and peaceful Xmas.....

i don't like this time of year....and i hate New year even more.....reminds me of all the people i knew that cant be here ...maybe becos they have died...or just too far away to bother.......................Too commercialised...no one, or not many seems to celebrate the reason we have Christmas...the birth of a tiny baby 2000 years ago!

see you all in the New year!!

Long Time no Here!

So sorry everyone,
been so busy....real life etc!
hope you are all well, those that read my blog....feel free to leave a little note to say you've caught up with all my news!
can't remember hwo long ago i last wrote...that long!!
Will try and fill you in as i go along.........

My son david who had the cardiac arrests made a significant enough recovery after he woke from the life support to be discharged within 2 weeks..... he wanted to comehoem to me but i refused...........too long a story but i didnt want th respeonsibility of him 24 x 7's....been there and di it 10 year ago....never again! So he went hom to his partner, much to everyone's disgust....social Services were going to rehouse him but backed off at the last moment!

Unfortunately his partner got snotty with me and wont allow me to visit David...so i havent seen him for ages.... tho i saw him very briefly 2 weeks ago... he is very frail...and cannot get out as he lives in upstairs apartment on a hill...with no buses...so the only excercise he gets is hobbling down stairs and stting on the front garden wall................the home visiting district nurse checks him regularly for his blood pressure and ECG................


end of August my daughter Michelle held a party for my son Ian who was returning to europe to teach...it was a lovely weekend...warm too so most of the time we spent in the garden........kayleigh and jo took me in the car to Ipswich....where Michelle lives with her husband and family

now to a more cheerie note...... hummm!!
first off i fell over at the middle of September had a couple of bruised knees...then a week later....after shock i think, (old injury from the 60's) my back went and i was in agony for 5/6 days being unable to go and see Sir Cliff richard in Concert live with The shadfows broke my heart...as it will probably be the last of the concerts for all of them as they are in their 70's now.............anyway i will have to console myself with the DVd that coems out next week....
My daughter jo went instead and said the concert was absolutely awesome and cliff danced all three hours long on stage.....................fit eh at 70!!

the day after was absolutely great as my man Martin arrived back from Australia and we spent a wonderful 5 days together before he disappeared to shuffle papers in London as usual.......all his promises he made before leaving Oz flew out the window!! still what can we expect eh girls...he's a MAN!!

on october the 17th Martin accompanied me to London to celebrate my grandson Joshua's first birthday.... the man doesnt do celebrations...well not with me...so i was very happy and surprised that he came along...and i think the girls were surprised to see him too...we actually managed to get a photo together...the first in 13 years ......The 4 girls were present.........my son Ian has returned to Europe for an undetermined time to teach students English so he wasn't there.....it was a lovely afternoon...and Joshua's other grandparents flew in from Holland to be there.... i have since learnt from his mum, joshua is walking .......eyes and ears in the back of her head now she'll need!!

the weather is now changing in UK...we had an indian Summer this year and it was very warm uptil this last weekend...the last few days have been damp and cold.............

Time is now 11pm here so i will on that note say goodnight till next time and tery not to leave it so long.....i updated the pics of my stats last month still have more to add...enjoy!!

Hello Stranger !!

Well hello everyone,

Sorry its been such a long time....real life and all that stuff!
Rushing back and forth to the hospital to see David while he was so ill was very nerve racking and took its toll on my nerves....just sitting watching him...to see if he would wake up........for 3 weeks he didnt move .......then all of a sudden he opened his eyes....and WHAM BAM he has improved so much...the medics are getting ready to discharge him very soon!

I reckon David has more lives than a cat and the skin of a rhino... he had more tubes in holes than i didnt know existed ......and if there wasnt a hole...you can bet your bottom dollar the docs made one...

David had a temporary tracheostomy so he wouldn't get more infection .... had had septicaemia, renal and liver failure...and 2 cardiac arrests... he had so much going on...the docs didnt want to risk or aggravate him..... He is now off life support and breathing unaided....his blood levels are nearly back to normal and he seems to be doing good......since he has had the trache removed about 2 weeks ago... he is making progress, and is even walking around slowly.....

Thank God he doesnt remember much about the first few weeks...... his Auntie Lynda came to see him... his dad's sister and an old friend of his Luke who i found on facebook.... came to see him.....

I certainly found out who my friends are in times of crisis......people i have known for years havent bothered to call me up except for one person...Marian..... w

I worked with Marian ....more than 40 yrs ago and she knows all my family..and i hers... she has phoned continually to ask about David...... and told me i could call her up any time day or night..........!

People i dont even know properly from all over the world in my Yahoo groups have been praying and asking continually..... yet others who i thought were friends havent bothered to call me at all............... i have had to call them.......surprise surprise......... i wont be doing them any favours from now on!

besides that life is slowly going along....manthing is still away In Australia but should be back any day......I will be so glad when he gets back i havent had time to think whether ive been on my head or my tail these last few weeks.......and I NEED A HUG and all the other pleasures that go with HUGS!! I know he needs lots of TLC too had huge business worries...hopefully that is soon sorted and he will be here........

In between all that i have kept myself busy and occupied creating.......its theonly thing that has stopped me going stir crazy.......................

The latest news from the hospital is medics want to discharge David home to me.... i have refused big time...definitely a NO NO!! I love my son....... I dont want and will not take responsibility for him 24 x 7's at my age......been there and done that 10 years ago!!

As soon as David is fit again he will be back on the Cocaine and grog which inturn gave him the traumatic illness in the first place..................so it will go on and on till the next crisis................

So peeps until the next time....back to the drawing board and PSP!! BFN !!

well i have not been here for a while...so busy...too much going on and creating.....

life is very hectic right now and i have a real emergency ......and am very worried so i have signed out of my Paint Shop groups for a while as creating is impossible at the moment....

my eldest son David, 41, is critically ill in hospital........ he's had HIV+ for 25 years and last week took a turn for the worst and over the weekend had a massive cardiac arrest....he is now on a ventilator with many complications including renal failure, brain atrophy, fitting continually,low sodium and potassium, and platelets...he is receiving dialysis ....

last night the surgeons performed a tracheotomy to help him breathe as he is unable on his own...tho he was tubed ...this can cause infection so the trache is an alternative......
Jo is beign a brick and with me most of th time...i am exhausted so not at the hospital today.... i need to catch up on sleeep and while he is holding his own i am having a break for a few hours....

Two of his other sisters , one older and one younger have also been to see him
...so we are just takin g oen step at a time right now.....

maybe i am being very selfish in not wanting him to recover ...may God forgive me.....I have asked the doctors not to resussitate him if neccesary...................he would be at peace then...... it looks like he has full blown AIDS so if he does recover...it will only be till the next crisis.....
i know you will all pray for his general health.....and the family...thank you!

till next time

WooHoo...Summer's Coming in UK!!

Well, nothing much to report really...so this will be a short note this time around!
the weather has warmed up a little so it looks like summer is on its way...so it should be...it is sopposed to be flaming June!!

the man still up to his tricks, but we had a long talk and we seem to be going along alright till the next hiccup or tantrum he pulls!

he has asked jo-Anne to decorate the bathroom and bedroom for me.....like asking her to fly to the moon...she will no doubt do it when she is good and read as he will pay her so all extra cash!

My daughter michelle 36, had a minor op last week for a 3rd tonsil growing on her tongue...docs did a biopsy just to be safe...things seem to have gone OK.....

My eldest daughter is back at work after 6 months maternity leave...so with an under one year old and working 4 days a week life is hectic for her....

Yesterday Iremember dear Kevin my lovely gay friend who died 3 years ago...it was his birthday 10th June....i think he would have been 50... and I loved him dearly.... I surely miss him so much every day!

well folks that's about all ....take care until next time!

Hi everyone,
i am so upset right now... i cant create much and have been on no mail in my groups ...though i did sign back in today.......i cant think...everything i eat ....leaves me feeling sick..... i hit the bottle thursday evening and got very drunk..................now i have to try and sort my life out.....Huh easier said than doen....when you have a man who has ruled your life for 13 years and is not only in your heart but in your head too...... maybe i need another professional to help me get him out of it....i dotn think i can do it on my own..........................

Martin was here last wekk and i thought we had spent a lovely time together and assumed he went off to London to do paper work and would be back...no such luck...more half his i think!!

i wotn bore you all my telling you the saga...cos some of you know it already....and i know its my own stupid fault...but you still cant help who you love..... many of you are there for me including my kids, some of you understand ...some of you dotn... i dont expect all of you to.....but i do appreciate your friendship and being there for me to moan and groan and to support ...thank you!

suffice to say after 13 years of being together...near and far.... soemtimes together under the same roof...martin in his wisdom...has decided he doesnt wish me to love him any more and only wants to be friends!! reckons there could be some benefits

...ha....like to know what.....the odd prezzies now and then....when he is all loved up he is fantastic......all his promises go straight out the window and the trips he has promised never coem to anything ...my passport sitll decorates my handbag!!

its alright for him to speak his mind and say what he likes but as soon as i want to chip in my 6 pence worth he isnt interested and shuts me out...now wont even talk to me or see me until he is convinced i can only treat him as a friend and expects me to forget all the good times we have shared....and now wants me to be his friend.....maybe just bed and shag him occasionally with TLC..... excuse the language!! i cant use people like that...or pretend i dotn love someone when i do...... i was taught unconditional love as a child...............

after 40+ years of dealing with men... i should know them and be able to get it right....but I cannot..... all the good nice ones are either GAY or married.........and i thought i'd choose brains before balls when i met martin...how wrong was I?

i have decided they live on another planet most of the times... most of them are ''Fuckwits'', only have one thing on their minds most of the time...and dotn always get that right........

.we dotn know them at all, and they only tell us to do what they want us to know.....my dear mother was right....God bless her.....!! ''men have a set of rules all for themselves.....''dont do what i do...do what i tell you...I am God!''

enough said... i am driving myself crazy!!

ennjoy your weekend....talk again soon!

WooHoo.....Man is back!!

yep....as you can see by my title....the ''manthing'' is back in UK and here with me right now!!

he arrived here 24 hrs early on tuesday 5th may at 3pm totally exhausted and very jet-lagged...so wea are doing nothing for a few days except eating and making Whoopee!!

I wont add to that ...cos i never know how long he is staying and where........just enjoying our time together............!!!!!

Since I last wrote my neice has given birth to ababy girl...her first baby and has called her Eden...... which i think is a lovely name and cannot be shortened to much to anything really....she weighs 6lb and has a mop of black hair! and is adorable! i have only seen a phot but as soon as my niece feels well enough will go visit and have cuddle!!

the weather here in UK is so unpredictable...it was beautifully warm last week everyone in t shirts and shorts...this week...chilly...isnt the word!!

My Jo has the ''man-flu'' so is out of bounds here with me for a few days ....i dont want it and nor does anyone else thank you very much!

anyway Peeps gotttsa go....not a lot of news........take care and see you all next time!